Book my magic show for your child's birthday party! Magic, juggling, balloons, a bunny rabbit. Oh, joy.
It's your Choice; you can hire a full-time, professional magician with over 30 years of experience, who has lots of rich and famous clients, with solid credentials - or, you can hire some creepy, cheap magician on Craigslist.
Your child and all of their little pals can be amazed & amused by New York City's Funniest Magician ... or, you can book a gin-soaked hobo in a Sponge Bob SquarePants costume.
If you want your child to forgive you for being a lousy parent, call me! Yes, even if your child loves the nanny more than you because you work 80 hours a week and you're a terrible, terrible parent, call me. I can make it all better. Booking my magic show you will save your family.
Or, you can hire some other magician. Of course that means your kid will drop out of Skidmore, get face tattoos and live in your basement well past middle-age. And everyone will know it's your fault. All because you didn't book me for your whining, over privileged Ritalin popper.